Gay Marriage Amendment Haiku (w/ poll)

Gays don't threaten me
Hatch, Sessions, and Santorum
Are all stupid pricks.

Update [2004-7-12 18:23:51 by furryjester]: Since you guys are so much better than me at writing haiku, I'm offering a prize as encouragement for the writer of the best effort: a John Edwards campaign button. If I can locate another fun prize I may offer a second. Go to it! Deadline is Tuesday, July 13 at 5pm EDT.

•  Tip jar

  Thank you, thank you.

  by furryjester on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:19:45 PM PDT

  •  Oh, you guys are GOOD

    much better than me.  Okay, best haiku will get a small prize (to be determined) in the mail if they care to identify themselves.  Deadline is 5pm EDT tomorrow (July 13).

    by furryjester on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:42:50 PM PDT

  •  Petals of what?

    Love in bloom, we throw
    shreds of the constitution.
    I feel so safe now

    Rice is bad for birds
    Is the right to love and wed
    so hard to digest?

    Turn your face away
    Mix rights well with righteousness
    Just chew and swallow

    by JOyODurham on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 11:09:21 PM PDT

•  eh, what was that?

  Brownback or Bareback?

  by Doug in SF on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:21:07 PM PDT

  •  Brownback

    I don't know what it means, but it's got to be something obscene. Think Santorum.

    by maxomai on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:22:25 PM PDT

•  aoeu

  Dick Cheney.

  by TealVeal on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:22:02 PM PDT

•  Haiku 2

  Called my Senators,
  Campbell and Allard, who don't
  like to hear from me.

  by ubikkibu on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:22:28 PM PDT

  •  Haiku 3

    Mr. Hatch, we're here
    to help you clean out your desk.
    I'm Adam, he's Steve.

    by ubikkibu on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:31:42 PM PDT

    •  Post CSPAN Debate Wrap Up Haiku

      Marriage strengthens homes
      Makes for healthy families
      Some must not marry

      Send the RNC a message in New York: Shut It Down

      by gboston on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:43:50 PM PDT

      •  Pervert Haiku

        More guns, or butter?
        Both are useful, Mr. Hatch,
        if you'll bend over.

        by ubikkibu on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:01:24 PM PDT

        •  HRC, NRA... it's all good...

          I support diverse
          sexuality - straight, gay,
          bi, or cold, round iron.

          by A Texan in Maryland on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:09:29 PM PDT

•  Santorum

  for he is supposed to represent me. but instead he treats us like [santorum www.spreadingsantorum.com/]

  by juls on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:24:01 PM PDT

  •  whoops try this

    santorum

    by juls on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:26:25 PM PDT

  •  aoeu

    SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
    SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
    SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
    That felt sooooooo good.

    by TealVeal on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:29:00 PM PDT

    •  TealVeal you inspire me

      santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum

      by juls on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:33:56 PM PDT

      •  aoeu

        SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
        SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
        SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
        

        This?  or this?

        SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
        SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
        SantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorumSantorum
        

        by TealVeal on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:35:55 PM PDT

        •  well this really

          santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum

          oh and i just remembered something i meant to write

          santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum santorum

          ah much better, almost like moving your bowels, or a frothy mixture.

          by juls on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:37:46 PM PDT

        •  Humbled again

          Being from Pennsylvania and having Santorum as my senator gives me a keener feeling of what it is to be an American in the the world of nations.  Pennsylvanias should be hated for having given Santorum a soap box to a degree near (though i'd say not quite equal) to how we Americans all need to feel being a nation of thugs and robbers among nations.

          Lord it's hard to be humble...

          by Speechless wonfer on Tue Jul 13, 2004 at 07:46:52 AM PDT

•  asdf

  Called 'em, but so what?
  My reps Cantwell, Murray, Jim
  Already hate it

  by soultaco on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:24:10 PM PDT

•  A vote for Santorum

  is a vote for that frothy mixture!

  Mmmmmm Santorum!

  by DynomiteUVA on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:25:42 PM PDT

•  Evening Prayer

  Terror Yellow
  War Orange
  Marriage Red.

  G. Bush

  by Athena on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:32:41 PM PDT

•  haiku is fun.

  I am a straight girl -
  I could not care less what gay
  people do at home.

  Marriage penalty?
  Allow gay people their rights...
  Close the budget gap!

  It's not the gays who
  Keep me from getting married -
  Trust me, Santorum.

  Quit trampling on my
  religious freedom - my church
  supports gay unions.

  One frequent complaint:
  "But roommates could get married!"
  My roommate's a guy.

  Civil, religious -
  That separation is the
  heart of the debate.
  

  by A Texan in Maryland on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:36:56 PM PDT

•  Can't We All Just Smoke a Bong?

  All those stupid shits
  With their knickers in a twist
  Don't like them one bits
  

  by nattering nabob on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:43:40 PM PDT

•  FMAH

  Old fashioned marriage
  is polygyny, just like
  the Bible tells us.

  by maxomai on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:57:28 PM PDT

  •  FMAH 2

    Adam and Johnny
    Marching down the aisle in Spring
    God smiles, despite Hatch

    --------------------------------

    Family values man
    drones away on Senate floor
    spreading Santorum

    by maxomai on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:04:50 PM PDT

    •  FMAH 3

      GOP platform:
      get gov out of your wallet
      into your bedroom

      by maxomai on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:09:10 PM PDT

•  Confused Fundi Haiku

  Gays marriage is immoral
  They should turn to Jesus
  Lord, I have urges I don't understand

  by Rp on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:57:38 PM PDT

•  hi! koo...

  Homosexuals -
  Run!  Panic!  They want to wed!
  O. Hatch wet his bed...

  Frills and lace - a bride!
  Tophat, tails, bowtie - a groom.
  They're both men?  Who cares.

  Til death do us part,
  sweet words for love's true intent.
  Fucking ammendment...
  

  by PBJ Diddy on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 02:58:31 PM PDT

•  Quick snarky Haiku...

  What caused this fracture,
  and my marriage on the rocks?
  Gays gettin' married.

  by MichaelPH on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:10:12 PM PDT

  •  another

    What kind of country
    wants less love for its people?
    Born again fascists.

    by MichaelPH on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:23:05 PM PDT

•  5-7-5

  Enshrining hatred
  what a holy thing to try.
  What would Jesus do?

  by El Payo on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:15:10 PM PDT

•  Uh Oh.

  Elizabeth Dole

  Hunting for the perfect tape

  "Who's that--Jeff Stryker?"

  by seriously blown cue on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:17:02 PM PDT

•  another 5-7-5

  What the terrorists
  don't hate about our freedom
  the RNC does

  by El Payo on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:18:02 PM PDT

•  haiku madness!!

  I'm afraid they'll know
  that I'm a closet homo-
  If I don't vote no.
     -(Republican senator)

  What will happen if
  we let two men file joint?
  Rs want less gay-tax.

  by skiddie on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:18:33 PM PDT

•  5-7-5 bait and switch

  Over in Iraq...
  "We can't find the WMDs."
  "Hey look - two homos!"

  by El Payo on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 03:19:38 PM PDT

•  my haiku

  Marriage in danger
  Because you saw two men kissing?
  Maybe ban porn too?
  

  by supergoldie on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 04:05:21 PM PDT

•  Dear Mr. Senator

  Enshrine bigotry
  Celebrate intolerance
  Support FMA

  by nattering nabob on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 04:05:43 PM PDT

•  My Humble Haiku Contribution

  Love is important,
  Gender is not what matters,
  What matters, is love.

  by librarydiane on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 04:26:11 PM PDT

•  repost from open thread where i saw it

  
  fearful people, listen:
  gay marriage's affect on non-gays --
  nothing. let them love.

  or in lame imitation of my favorite ezra pound poem)
  an apparition of gay faces in tuxedoes and white dresses:
  society implodes!

  by golightly21 on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 04:29:56 PM PDT

•  Writing Haikus Is Addictive!

  Adam & Steven
  Can't get a marriage license
  Britney can--again!

  by librarydiane on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 04:30:07 PM PDT

•  Hmm, how's this? (with some nitpicking for fun)

  Love is beautiful;
  The sun sets on injustice
  and Bush - still married

  Gays married, I fear
  Dad with Ted and Mom with Mary
  No kids, that's scary

  ***
  a little nitpicking, proper Haiku, aside from the sylabic structure, should also include a seasonal theme

  by devo on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 04:50:36 PM PDT

  •  Oklahoma summer theme

    This immodest heat
    Cooked James' brain.  He sues his folks,
    Protects families.

    I'm not too impressed with it myself, but I like the idea....

    by tryptamine on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 05:04:27 PM PDT

•  what a great idea.

  Santorum's God says,
  "No love for you if you're gay,
  My dear creations."

  by tryptamine on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 04:55:26 PM PDT

•  First Things First

  Trashing Bill of Rights
  Is but a small price to pay
  For four more Chimp years

  by nattering nabob on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 05:10:58 PM PDT

•  names

  Marriage amendment?
  Let's call it by its true name:
  The Bill of No Rights.

  by Pericles on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 07:51:54 PM PDT

•  Another one

  Here's one that popped into my head while I was at work:

  This carnival ride
  Of people's personal lives
  Is making me sick.

  by tryptamine on Mon Jul 12, 2004 at 07:54:59 PM PDT

•  Santorum sux...

  ...heard him on NPR this morning blabbing on about the foundation of the American family was traditional marriage.  Guess he forgets about his constituents who do not have 'traditional families', based on the Republican definition of the phrase.  Jeebus, i hope my fellow keystoners rise up and vote him out in '06.  What a fascist idiot...

  haikools to follow...

  "Ask not what you can do for your country / What's your country been doing to you? / In the USA"! - The Avengers, 'The American in Me'

  by DLove on Tue Jul 13, 2004 at 08:09:33 AM PDT

•  Contribution

  Whatever affronts
  Your vision of decency
  Government can help

  by dspiewak2634 on Tue Jul 13, 2004 at 12:43:49 PM PDT

•  my haikools

  Discrimination
  deserves a place in our cast
  of Amendments why?
  --
  Repubs are gutless
  to make a nonissue a
  terrorist threat now
  --
  Big threats to marriage
  Exist here in Santorum's
  naughty dog dreams
  --
  War in Iraq is
  failing  Quick! look over there
  gays killed my marriage
  --
  Gay marriage fighters
  Don't have better things to do
  Jobless in the streets

  "Ask not what you can do for your country / What's your country been doing to you? / In the USA"! - The Avengers, 'The American in Me'

  by DLove on Tue Jul 13, 2004 at 01:06:20 PM PDT